Hi Johannes

I know that women like foreplay, and I don’t mind giving it to my girlfriend. The problem is that I often lose my erection during foreplay – and it doesn’t always want to get hard again afterwards – so often I prefer to start with the lovemaking straight away and to skip the preliminaries.


Here is my answer:

Hi Thomas

It sounds like you yourself don’t get turned on much during foreplay and as a result you lose your erection. When men don’t enjoy the foreplay it’s often because they cannot read the woman’s cues and don’t know what the next natural thing to do is.

Or because they don’t dare take control and leadership of the situation because they are afraid of how she will react.

It can feel pretty CONTRA-INTUITIVE – you have to be able feel where the woman is, and dare to take on the leading role. Here are a few pointers that will help you along the way:

1. This is how you read her cues

The most obvious cue she gives is the “mmmm” sound. She’s into it and enjoying what you’re doing.

But already here most men make a FATAL mistake. They assume that when she says a sound or shows that she is aroused and enjoying herself, that they can move on to the next step.

“Ah, now I can move on to the breasts”. And at the next “mmm” the guy thinks “now its finally the time to head down south”. But no! It doesn’t work like that!

Its important to understand that when she sighs and moans, that this is because you are doing something HERE and NOW that she likes. So then CONTINUE DOING IT!! And do it until you can feel that she has had enough – for example, perhaps she gives you more “sound cues”.

This is not “rocket science” but many men have gotten it all wrong from the start. So do yourself a favor and “unlearn” some of your habits once and for all.

Women don’t have certain buttons that you can turn and rotate in a certain order. There is no series of moves you can follow giving you the perfect result.

If you think you just need to find the right sequence of steps and then continue with this sequence from now til eternity – if you are looking for that final “recipe” to turn on your woman – then you might very well end up searching for a very long time.

Because you know what?

It doesn’t exist.

Women HATE when men continue doing the same thing again and again without changing it the slightest bit. Believe me.

What she likes today is NOT The same as what she will like tomorrow.
What she likes right now, is not the same as what she wants in one minute or in 10 seconds.

So you have to continuously listen and read her signals.

2. Be a challenge

Being able to listen and to feel her is not the same as you having to live up to the slightest wink of her eye, or to put aside all your needs to gratify hers.

This will turn her off – or she will not get turned on at all.

Yes, it sounds a bit like a paradox.

At the same time that you can feel the woman, where she is and what she needs, you need to be a challenge for her. You can do this by teasing her, keeping her in suspense and showing her that you are taking charge.

If you are the kind of man that “over caresses” her insisting on kissing her and cuddling her – she will enjoy it – but she might not get sexually excited.

And sexually aroused – thats what you want her to get, right?

This is why you BOTH have to be aware of her cues and feel her but also to CHALLENGE her. If you can do this then she will get REALLY TURNED ON.

Show her that you can take control and leadership. Tease her. Act as if you are about to penetrate, so she prepares to receive you – and then wait some …
You add extra zest and excitement that gets her more aroused, and she gets turned on by what is unpredictable – she wakes up. She becomes aware and she follows your moves. And she gets TURNED ON.

3. Be Present

Women need to completely trust a man to be able to get turned on.
If she does not trust you she cannot let go, and cannot rest in her feminine essence. When she trusts you she can allow you to tease her, to take leadership and control and she will enjoy it immensely.

But what is it that makes a woman trust you?

Its all about your presence.

Are you present when you are together with her?
Can you feel yourself, can you feel her, can you feel your body, her body?
Or are you sitting there fretting about how she feels and whats the next thing you have to do to get to the end goal?

All women can feel this instinctually.

Women are aroun 70 times more sensitive than men. They have a better intuition, more empathy – and they even have more nerve ends in the skin, which make them more receptive and open to touch.

If a women were to try being a man just a single day she would feel that she was walking around in a space suit.

So you can’t hide from a woman. She can feel you with her feminine radar.

And if you have the slightest bit of fear, then she won’t completely trust you.

Is that scary?

No, not really.

The thing that turns on a woman most of all is your presence, your centered calm inner being. Not whether you are touching her here or there. Not even the worlds most advanced technique can turn her on as much as your masculine presence.

If you are able to be present with her, completely without fear, then you can turn her on without even touching her!

This calls for courage

To stand steadfast and still in the raging ocean, you need to be a man, and you need to be connected to your masculine core.

So how do you find this inner strength, this inner masculine focus? Join the TantraCURE Super Sexual Stamina Course and I will sharing with you all the tips, methods and techniques that helped me attain sexual mastery.