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* ATTENTION – READ THIS: Dear friends! In your comment include 5 things that make you relax before lovemaking. This is a great exercise to give you some awareness and will also help the other men reading the comments. What makes you relaxed and confident before making love with a woman? Is it related to your confidence? or is it related to the woman? To get you started you can think back to a lovemaking session where it went well. Take a moment to reflect about what made it go well. I want as many details as possible (and its good for you to be reminded of your successes). I look forward to read your answers!
Many Thanks, Hans. I’m curious about the next videos.
– warmth/ physical heat (esp. in the morning)
– after spending time together (Dancing, Restaurant, a glass of wine…)
– after we had already slept – we are more relaxed
– smooth Music
– longer foreplay
very nice explained for me! thank you
I agree to the point of massage female bodies are much more sensitive to touch where as male bodies respond only to the touch at the just one part below we don’t allow the other parts of the body to feel the love the tingling feeling we get from the massage relaxation we get from the massage are very important but meditation is much more important because most of the times we want to have sex just to get rid of our negative emotions like stressful day at the office a fight with someone or anger with some one we want to release all those negative emotions just by having orgasm to make us feel good but unless we relax and meditate to get rid of those negative emotions until then we won’t be able to perform because stress is one of major reason to premature ejaculation and with a massage we feel relax and slowly let out those negative emotions and when instead of just having sex we have massage and have much more sensual foreplay it is then that we perform sex with the emotions of love rather than just a means of get rid of negative emotions and satisfying only self needs and being indifferent to the needs of our partner.
And ya old masturbation habits related to porn and fantasizing have a deep impact because in those habits we used them to ejaculate as soon as possible to get rid of negative emotions so it is a long path to improve upon because we need to find a way like meditation first to start tackling with the negative emotions rather than orgasm as a way to fight negative emotions
I like how this complicated teaching is simplified. I totally agree with everything you said. Relaxing is hard but to know how relaxing actually works, considering the mind and the body realtionship, makes it graspable and understandable.and doable.
It’s funny but it was like I already
new the place where I should
be in lovemaking.need to relax
a lot more and be more n the moment
Rather than a process of performance.
I understand the critical importance of relaxation , just not specifically how to achieve it. I suffer from heart disease and erectile dysfunction in addition to PE. In my lifetime, the PE has only occurred during two periods, one of which has been since my open heart surgery 3 yrs ago, and the other way back in 1978 & 79. The only common elements between the two episodes is that each time I was making love to in my opinion, very beautiful women. The current one is 58 yrs old and my wife of 25 yrs. I’m currently trying to overcome erectile issues and PE. Upon entering my wife, if I refuse ejaculation very shortly after penetration, I’ll lose the erection entirely and will be unable to climax. If I penetrate and climax within one minute’only then is ejaculation possible. All this has developed since my near death experience in heart surgeries. I’m wondering which issue to work on first, the ED or the PE? I’ve been focusing on the ED as without the erection, I fell climaxing wont occur.perhaps I’ve been too desensitized by 14 yrs of Internet pornography and I have given it up in order to reset my brain and to be only receptive to stimuli, visual or otherwise from my beautiful wife. I hope I’m doing the correct thing but I would like to last at least 5 minutes, we did wonders 10 yrs ago in my mid fifties. I’m now 65. Thank you for this critically important body of work
Spoon reference is very interesting. Not just with premature ejaculation but with any type of struggle. I am the guy who concentrates so hard as to not spill anything. The work is hard. It is almost as if I am trying too hard. But I do succeed. Much like the guy in the story. But I miss out on all the beauty. I see this everyday in every job and every sport. I thought this was the way to succeed. But it is wrong. Tantra is the answer. looking forward to next video.
I have been told to relax or distract the concious mind before from help sites, but this video was very enlightening in the ways to relax. I am going to try some medatitive tequniques this afternoon and when my lady gets home from work I’ll encourage her to give me a massage before we cpmence lovemaking. Often though In the past I have rushed into lovemaking being on aware of my self (more so my penis!) But now I wish to tale the whole experience as a phsyical, mental and spiritual journey . Thanks Hans for your guidance.
You have been able to explain someone so complex(nervous system) in simple terms. The spoon example made so much sense. I will try to consciously relax my entire body and try not to be so aggressive and concentrate on my sexual organ during arousal. Thanks Hans!
This video has been helpful. I do find it hard to relax during sex. I seem to perform the best when I have other things going on I. My life and I’m not really in the mood for sex. Usually due to being angry with my wife or just extremely tired. Make sense since I’m not even thinking about what I’m doing.
What if the root cause of premature ejaculation is circumcision? Circumcision is mutilation, performed without our consent. Even if we’ve forgotten or repressed the pain, it causes trauma that is hard-wired into our nervous system. Does it not? How do we heal and release this so we can cure premature ejaculation and experience the beautiful, loving sex we deserve?
i am happy fore your speeks on the tantra festival in Århus
i have no vomen at the moment, but on my ovn, allredy now it go better fore me using:
inhaling in pusing
and exhaling on polling out
doing it on spesiffik times examble 1 hour
that have maked me more happy on other exercising ekx. biking.
i wore a condöm, and i drank sme spirit with concorted herbs
thanks alot, it is indeed usefull. yet I suggest to list the outlines of the methods in these promotional videos in order to help in understanding it better.
Acting on intuition, on my gut feeling, fully trusting myself and the cosmos is growing once again.
And the feeling that I can be fully inspired by my partner is just a matter of my own belief that I am just full of ultimate cosmic inspiration independent of any person. And that I already have such people around me including my partner.
Jai Guru Deva
1. Often in the mornings I can last longer as I have had no time to think about sex through out the day so I’m more present and I’m not caught in fantasy.
2. When I have drank alcohol, it takes quite a lot, I last longer and the feelings are muted and it takes a lot of effort to ejaculated I have to focus on the feelings with a woman.
3. Listening to soulful music and having relaxing lighting
4. Having no time limit an how long sex is spend all day having sex more than once. This only happens when I’m in a relationship.
5. Feeling confident by talking about sex, usually after I have had sex a couple of times with a partner. One night stands this doesn’t happen I depend on alcohol to carry me through which I would rather not do too often.
Other times I’m tense, my breathing is restricted in anticipation of a quick ejaculation so I remain clinging to anxiety in my mind which detracts from full experiencing an orgasm. I have also notice I tend to tense the perineum each time I’m stroking forward which may be bringing me closer to orgasm a lot sooner than is needed. Since noticing this I shall try to use motion from the hips and try to relax the perineum more. I’ve noticed also when I relax my breathing and breath deeply the sensations do move from the penis and travel up my spine somewhat but quickly descend again back to my penis.
Once I was completely uninhibited by how quick I was going to ejaculate and it just happened in under a minute and I had such a release of tension like never before and physically felt a huge release over my body and felt pins and needle sensations in my arms. This brought me closer to my partner at the time as I felt emotional and relieved of stress.
To be honest I have no idea or have had something that relaxes me before sex! I soon as I find out Im going to have sex or just thinking about it, my sexual arousal energy rises and theres no going back! Youve opened my mind with information I was never aware! Please!!! Like all men on here, we come here for a reason and we need your help desperately. What good is it being good looking or even being in a relationship if when it comes to the sex, we cant perform the way we want to! Please help us Han!
Very interesting and definately makes sense. Key is staying relaxed whilst not getting to excited.
4.Stop worrying about my performance.
5.Don’t rush things, just enjoy my wife’s body and let her know it.
I meditate, long foreplay, feel confident, be focused and pay attention to my wife’s body but I don’t penetrate long before discharging. I think I really need your help.
Thanks for your video
Looking forward to try your advise. It would be a new world to been in if I can this to work
Didn’t hear back from you I must have done something wrong.
We are having a much better/longer time toigether now, thank you.
We have used;
1. long foreplay
2. feeling confident and positive about our love making
4. good mood
Doing things that take our minds off the everyday stress and distractions from relaxing like playing darts, computer casino games, trivia games and karaoke relax us both and aapear to be in agreement with your relaxation and concentration recomendation. I last 10 – 20 minutes longer when we have had sex after these and she enjoys our sex too.
This is very encouraging.
I’ m now beginning to understand the relationship of the sympathetic and parasympathetic system in the love making process. I have certainly experienced the transition from one to the other but wasn’t aware there were ways to control the timing of that transition. Relaxation does seem to be a key factor. I just hope I can develop the ability to control how long I stay in the parasympathetic state without loosing my erection.
Important things in relaxation are:
1. Choosing the right time (with no limitations) for making love.
2. Have some nice gentle music playing and put all the cares of the world out of my mind.
3. Make sure there will be no interruptions BEFORE starting foreplay.
3. Give and/or receive a massage from my wife.
4. Don’t rush things, just enjoy my wife’s body and let her know it.
5. Stop worrying about my performance.
Thank you for this amazing video, it was of great help, those relaxation techniques are incredible they’re unbelievable.. But the thing I havent understood is how to get the flow of sexual energy to the body? I would really like to end my premature ejaculation Please help me!!
About 5 things that keep me relaxed before lovemaking:
I listen to slow music to calm down, I meditate, take a walk in a peacefull place, long foreplay, Pay attention to my girl’s body, make her feel special and confident.
But the problem is after the foreplay, when the “real thing” starts my premature ejaculation takes over and its over before it has even begun. :s
I really need your help!! 🙁
Listen to relaxing music , meditate , lay or sit and watch your breathing , take a relaxed walk , be in nature ‘
I got drunck and lasted more then three hours.
It is my confidence that makes me relax during lovemaking but that has been interrupted by the recent PE problem
It is my confidence but even that I have problem with it now cause I am not able to last as I used to be.
Thanks for your video
I just want you to know that these videos are excellent. Thank you so much. They help me a lot.
Hans, i really appreciate and enjoy your explanation. i trust if i follow you to the end many things will change in my marital and sexual live. How long should foreplay take? hope to hear from you soon, and when will i exercise the relaxation, is it before or after i enter? thank you
Once again Hans, Great job of explaining the mental and physical side of the issue. Then giving a reason for it and lastly how to start to accurately approach the issue.
Keep up the Great work please. I am looking forward to the next video.
1. Breathing deeply
2. Letting go of everything on the exhalation
3. Having condoms nearby
4. Dedicating my time to it, and forgettiting everything else.
5. Looking into my partners left eye for some time while she does the same to me.
The mantra is to relax, but it is the hardest thing…
Hans, An excellent couple of videos that make a lot of sense and demystify the whole process.
I like to treat the whole of lovemaking as a special event.
Get ready in plenty of time, no rushing.
The evening planned out beforehand.
Enjoy a nice meal and some stimulating conversation.
Treat my lady as the most sensational and sexy person on the planet, (which she is).
Pay attention to her needs, try and relax and enjoy.
She is the entire focus of my attention and I “had” the confidence knowing I could satisfy her.
The problem is that the last couple of lovemaking events have resulted in me ejaculating too soon, (I wouldn’t be here otherwise). Having a partner who loves Multiple Orgasms, it is a pleasure paying the utmost attention to her and she will have had 10-12 Orgasms before it is my turn for some attention.
All of a sudden, however, I am coming way too soon,almost instantly before even entering. So I am looking for an answer……
That’s why I find your teachings so good.
At last someone who is able to explain and set out the principals that have long dogged man. Iam impressed to say the least and await the next video.
We are both in the sixties and I know there is much i could have bettered in the past, but this whole vehicle you are providing will bring the circle closed again. I, we, Have been waiting long enough.
1. long foreplay
2. feeling confident and good about myself and my body physique
3. being a bit stoned by marijuana or alcohol
5. good mood
The most important two things are, that I’m feeling confident and and good about myself and my body. Have I eaten healthy? Have I been exercizing in the gym? Did I do a great job at the work? The secon thing that helps me relax in bed, is a longer foreplay, and also when my girl is on top of me in bed.