Premature Ejaculation And Psychology

Premature Ejaculation And Psychology

Psychological factors are the most important underlying factors of premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation more often than not stems from a wide range of detrimental emotions, which undermine our ability to perform well.


My first step towards curing premature ejaculation came from clearing out my own emotions about sexuality! Until then I had accumulated a lot of knowledge about sexuality but it was not helping me because I had emotional blockages, both in my relationship with myself and how I saw women. The moment I cleared these emotions everything started falling into place allowing me to use the other techniques I had learned optimally.

Based on my own experience and from my experience in guiding other men I have found that the most common emotional blockages surrounding sexuality are as follows:

Premature Ejaculation and Ignorance

Ignorance can be seen as a kind of emotion because you can “willfully” keep yourself in a state of ignorance due to whole blend of deeper underlying reasons including laziness or being comfortable in status quo.

Most men have no idea what sexuality is and how it ties into your body and mind. Sexuality is seen as a kind of way of letting go of steam.

In my own case many years passed where I had a problem with premature ejaculation but didn’t even see it as a problem. There was a kind of “that’s how I am, this is normal” kind of thought pattern. I did not know anything about sexuality, how it affected my moods and inner states and I did not care much either. Ejaculation for me was a way of letting of steam every second or third day and if I did not perform well in bed, well that was just too bad. I saw no correlation between the fact that I was not performing well in bed with my deteriorating relationship to the girlfriend I had at the time and my own moodiness and lack of clarity in life in general.

Premature Ejaculation and Non-Communication

Many men are very bad at communicating about their problem. This was definitely the case for me. The ignorance about the problem coupled with the fact that sexuality is a sensitive thing made me repress the issues, in the sense that whenever my girlfriend brought it up I would give her a blank stare and evade the subject directing the conversation into other topics. If she got too insistent I would just snap back that this was how I was and that there was nothing I could do about it. Lack of communication signals to a woman that you don’t appreciate her and you don’t love her. A woman is more concerned with you communicating with her than the fact that you have a problem, but at the time I was not able to communicate about it. I did not have a sufficient level of maturity or courage or knowledge to deal with the problem and to face it head on.

I can tell you the following: If you suffer from premature ejaculation and you feel bad about it discuss it with your girlfriend if you have one. Tell her that you are working on it and that you need her support with this. She’ll be so happy that:

1) You want to satisfy her and want to make her happy.
2) You show masculinity by dealing with a problem. Wussy men complain about their problems without doing anything.
Masculine men realize that there is a problem and then they do anything they can to fix it.

Premature Ejaculation and Guilt

Guilt is a huge factor among many men and is related to non-communication. Many men simply are not comfortable with sexuality and refuse to speak about the issues. You should come to terms with whether you feel guilty about your sexuality. In this case it could be valuable to go back in your past and find out what the feelings were about sexuality in your childhood home. I tell you this: Work with the guilt and get it into the light. A fulfilling sexual life is your birth right as a man. To be able to fully satisfy a woman is a great thing, in fact it´s your duty as a man. Sexual energy is your life energy. By embracing your sexuality you embrace life. You will be a happier you, you will have a happier and more compliant woman, you will do the things you do better and with more passion – and simply spread more joy into the world. By solving your PE and getting a fulfilling sexual life you not only become happier yourself, you simply serve the world better.

Isolation and pornography

Many men who suffer from premature ejaculation and who cannot communicate about the problem end up surfing Internet pornography as a way of dealing with their frustration.

There exists a natural explanation: The need for a substance called dopamine, especially in the brains of men. Men need something, which excites them and creates variance in their lives. If they can’t get their sexuality to work out properly pornography, fatty salty foods (junk food) and video games become some of the pass times that men can indulge in, but as with anything else a pass time can quickly become an addiction if you don’t balance your dopamine levels with more healthy less reclusive behavior patterns.

Again it´s important you wrap your head around this concept.

ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! Your wiring is against you. Your brain craves dopamine. Instead of hitting yourself over the head with negative selftalk about you being a bad person because you have this and this bad habit, study how addicition works and in this study you’ll be helping yourself out of it. Knowledge is power. Knowledge brings awareness and raises your level of consciousness.

Premature Ejaculation and Seeing That You Have The Problem

After my girlfriend broke up with me I spent a lot of time with one night stands going to bed with different women. Now that I was suddenly meeting new women and taking them home with me, my problem suddenly became very apparent!

When you are with a stable girlfriend it can become easy to ignore the problem because the subconscious mind has a tendency to become lazy. “She knows that I have a problem, that’s the way it is, I can’t do anything about it, she’s gotta accept it”

Premature Ejaculation, Nervosity and anxiety

My bad performance in bed was making me nervous and jittery. I would be completely out of touch with myself when I finally would start making love with a woman. First of all this nervosity led to weak erections and a feeling of being out of touch with my penis. This is a terrible state to be in as the slightest touch on a ”jittery weak erection penis” can cause premature ejaculation. Once you get into this state it can be quite tough to get out of it. It is almost a kind of vicious circle. The only way I could get a strong erection was if I could somehow get my flaccid penis up in the vagina and start thrusting and feeling my partner respond to it with pleasure. This would give me the necessary self-confidence to get the erection hard again and thereby get over the “jittery weak erection” state.

It’s a funny thing that being afraid to ejaculate too early is one of the things that will make you ejaculate really fast!

Premature Ejaculation, Self-confidence and masculinity

If I was lucky enough and got through the “jittery weak erection” phase without ejaculating things got easier for perhaps 5 to 10 minutes but then a little lack of awareness (often caused by “sexual greed”) would send me over the top.

In this period I was having a lot of masculinity issues. A lot of men before they center into a stable state of masculinity are caught up in an unhealthy mindset. They feel weak, lack self-confidence and have very low self-esteem. To counter for this they often act aggressively in situations where they don’t need to and try to play tough and macho. The problem is that if you have not found your center of masculinity you will forever be trapped in a kind of neurotic game where you either are weak and whimpering or aggressive and macho.

In my case masculinity issues made me oversensitive to how other men perceived me and treated me. I was very easily provoked, by any man, or woman, who implied that I was weak.

This pattern also manifested itself in bed. I would be an all gung ho masculine male attracting women around me and taking them to bed. And once in bed I would become nervous and jittery and my erections would be weak. Whenever I had ejaculated too fast, I would try all kinds of things so the woman could not see I had ejaculated. I would also try all kinds of evasive maneuvers so the woman could not see how anxious I was.

Too many of these kind of experiences lower your self confidence with regards to sexuality and keep you in the perpetual pendulum state I mentioned above, where you swing between states of overaggressive defensive macho masculinity to states where you feel weak and helpless. If you recognize these patterns within yourself reading step 6 about masculinity will do wonders for you.

Premature Ejaculation, Stress and Tension

A growing problem I often faced was a continual stress and tension. Certain typologies of men have a lot of testosterone and sexual drive, and I am one of them. If the energy is not channeled you can often feel very restless. It is like to trying to put a lid on a pressure cooker. This stress and tension often builds up if you have stressful fulltime jobs or other projects that engulf you. In periods where I was very stressed I had very bad ejaculatory control. The moment I started making love I would literally blow up.

I was very intent though on being able to live life without stress so I tried out all sorts of methods and techniques to calm my mind and body. Stress leads to shallow fast breathing and a faster heart rate. It can also lead to tensions in certain parts of the body including the feet, legs and back. In this period I found out that if I received a lot of massage, performed full body relaxation techniques and did breathing exercises that the problems with stress would disappear and alongside that the problems of premature ejaculation.

Premature Ejaculation and Lack of love

Another major cause of premature ejaculation is a feeling of lacking love. In periods where I was depressed, I was simply not present in the lovemaking. It was as if I was disengaged with the woman I was making love with and premature ejaculation would often be the side effect of that lack of love. The ability to feel love is very much tied in with masculinity. As we start to find our true masculine core, our heart starts to radiate and we begin to love others instead of expecting to be loved. This shift of consciousness is very important in the quest to lasting longer.

Premature Ejaculation and Lack of feeling of growth – boredom

Premature Ejaculation issues also often come to men who feel stuck in their lives. If there is no growth, no enthusiasm, no feeling of achieving your life goals, the sexual energy does not rise and it will start to stagnate. There will be a tendency for carelessness in ones approach to sexuality.

Letting Go After I met the girlfriend who I am with today and who introduced me to Tantra I made a 3-week long meditation retreat where I solved many of these emotional issues.

This meditation retreat had a miraculous influence on me that made everything fall into place.

Today my lovemaking is completely different. The foreplay is long, the touching soft and caressing, I have my awareness on the woman instead of myself and the lovemaking can last for hours. Lovemaking is absolutely blissful and for me in my life now is a tool for spiritual development.

Performing this meditation retreat solved a lot of my inner turmoil. These kinds of retreats are essential in your personal growth. It lies in the essence of men to sometimes pull back from the world to reassess their lives and to regain contact with their essence. In TantraCURE I also address many issues of masculinity and how you can get more in touch with your masculine essence.

Today I conduct courses and seminars for men teaching them how they can unblock the things inside that are preventing them from lasting long in bed, while giving them the tools to fulfill themselves and their girlfriends.

As you can see, my issues with premature ejaculation very much tie in with the process of my own self-development. From ignorance to non communication, to anxiety and masculinity issues, to lack of body awareness and to lack of knowledge about how I was using sexuality in general. From my experience with guiding other men I see that these processes I have described are not unique to me and I am sure many of you can recognize many of these patterns within yourself.

You Can Cure Your Premature Ejaculation Starting Tonight

In TantraCURE I will go more in depth about how you can cure these issues with simple techniques.

Many of you have the wrong idea that you have to go through endless therapy sessions to get to the bottom of emotional blockages. I do not subscribe to this point of view. From my experience from Taoism and Yoga and through my work with men, I know that emotional blockages are caused by energetic blockages which can be eradicated by quick effective self therapy. In TantraCURE I will give you these techniques and explain them step by step so you can start curing any emotional blockage easily, quickly and efficiently.

With TantraCURE follows a membership forum where you can ask me questions about the techniques or if you need feedback, support or advice.

If you have any questions about TantraCURE, please leave a comment down below and I’ll get back as quickly as possible.

I wish you a great day and lots of success on your path to sexual mastery

Hans P.S. If this article was interesting for you then

==> Checkout TantraCURE by clicking on this link <==
The Worst Solutions Men Rely On To Stop Premature Ejaculation

The Worst Solutions Men Rely On To Stop Premature Ejaculation

Desensitizing creams and sprays, extra thick condoms, shooting your load out in the bathroom before going to bed with a woman… There seems to be no limit to what men will do in sheer desperation just to last a minute or two longer.

But – do you prefer to have a bag full of gimicky solutions, or would you prefer to learn to last longer in bed in a natural way – once and for all?

If you had any sense in your head you would probably choose the last option.

The problem is that there still is a lot of ignorance out there when it comes to premature ejaculation, and many men still don’t know that learning to last long in bed is something that can be learned. This ignorance comes from premature ejaculation being a taboo subject.

“In our culture sex is something we are expected to be good at without practising”
Sex can be talked about openly in most countries in our modern society, but sexual problems and our difficulties facing these problems are more difficult and sensitive. In our culture sex is something we are supposed to be able to engage in without practising, AND we have this underlying idea that sex is something that we continue engaging in all our life without making any attempt at improving ourselves, learning new things or gaining new abilities.

Maybe that would be nice, but it doesn’t work like that in reality.

Have you ever heard of anybody that plays great tennis without practising?

Or plays amazing guiter, golf, or speaks fluent Swahili?

Even learning to drive a car needs practice and training.

Funnily enough we have no problems understanding that these things need a certain amount of discipline in order to learn them.

And learning to last long in bed is no exception to this rule. To last long you need the right kind of training.

“I tried all kinds of quick fix solutions …
But at the end of day I found out that the only way forward was through disciplined training”
So not only is premature ejaculation a big taboo. Men have a tendency of seeing premature ejaculation as something that cannot be fixed instead of seeing it for what it really is – something that EASILY can be cured with the right mindset and training.

In this way many men keep themselves from learning to become good lovers due to ignorance. We push the problem away from us or refuse to admit that we even have the problem. OR we try to “solve” it by using desensitizing creams, thick condoms or by “relieving the pressure” out in the bathroom before engaging in sex.

The Premature Ejaculation Ostrich

By being an ostrich you refuse to see the problem straight on. You choose to close your eyes and bury your head in the sand like an ostrich – instead of getting to the core of the issue and fixing it.

The Premature Ejaculation Ostrich

The Premature Ejaculation Ostrich
But these are not solutions. To anesthesize the skin on the penis with creams and sprays is one of the most lame techniques out there.

Oversensitivity is seldom just a problem of over sensitive skin on the penis, but a question of a combination of the brains response mechanism, the body, the spinal chord and the pelvic muscles. So by putting a bit of this “mosquito repellent” cream on your penis – the only thing you will achieve is a doped penis where you feel even less of what is going on and how close or far you really are from the edge. Instead of doping your penis, its better to become more aware of your sensitivity so you learn what actually is happening down there.

What do you prefer: To have desensitizing cream on your whole body before you go out on a bicycle ride – or to learn to keep your balance on your bike so you don’t fall?

The worst piece of advice in my opinion, advice even given by many sexologists, is to go out and masturbate and ejaculate in the bathroom before engaging in sex with your woman.

Not only do you risk not being able to get it up again, you also risk feeling emotionally and physically drained so that the sexual experience becomes diluted.
Knowing just a little bit about what sexual energy is, and why its important to take care of it, you would understand that the “masturbate before meeting your woman” advice will just cause more problems for you, such as erectile dysfunction, lack of potence and actually WORSEN your premature ejaculation problem.

Cure Premature Ejaculation With The Right Training

If you want to learn to last longer in bed then there is only one way forward and that is to start the right kind of training. A daily training that will take you from where you are – and step by step teach to become a super lover that can last as long as you want.

And this can be learned relatively quickly with the right kind of training.

Get Your Hands On This Amazing Technique!

By clicking on this link you can get your hands on an amazing ancient technique using natural methods that will help you to overcome performance anxiety and last longer in bed. A technique amazingly simple to perform but devastatingly powerful.

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Premature Ejaculation And Performance Anxiety

Premature Ejaculation And Performance Anxiety

Many men write to me to ask me how they avoid performance anxiety. It is especially when they have just met a new woman and are going to bed with her for the first time that performance anxiety rears its ugly head. They become so nervous that they either cannot get an erection, or ejaculate the moment they penetrate…

I will start by telling you a thing you absolutely MUST understand if you suffer from performance anxiety and have a tendency of getting nervous around women.

A mistake most men make…

I have noticed a fundamental difference between how men and women interact when they meet a ”potentiel partner”.

Women are usually quite relaxed when they meet a new man. They act in a way which signals: “I would like to get to know you better, and then lets see where all of this leads”.

But men have the tendency to see all women that they meet as potential partners for life, new girlfriend material or at least one-night-stands.

So in other words, women are RELAXED in the start when they meet new men. But how relaxed do you think a guy is if he sees any new woman as A POTENTIAL GIRLFRIEND?

It is naturally our “masculine instinct” that we must show ourselves from our best and strongest side to conquer a woman.

But this unfortunately creates a lot of psychic pressure in men, and not a good pressure – it is the kind of pressure that makes men doubt their own ability and be the EXACT OPPOSITE of what they really want to be.

And if you already have experienced premature ejaculation – then it doesn’t exactly make the situation easier …

You begin to doubt yourself and your abilities between the sheets, your ability to satisfy her, how she wants it, what she likes, what you need to do next etc…

You begin to act “nervously” and the woman herself becomes uncomfortable because you are not “centered” … and a vicious cycle is born
In other words you begin to act “nervously” and the woman herself becomes uncomfortable because you are not “centered” … and a vicious cycle is born.

The date ends wih the man coming too quickly and driving home from the date humiliated with a broken self confidence and a nagging doubt if he ever will see the woman again …

You probably can relate to this at some level.

Actually most men can relate to this – even those men that usually don’t have any problems lasting long in bed. All men will at some point experience nervousness or performance anxiety with women.

The solution to the problem …

Performance anxiety is one of the 7 triggers that make men come too quickly again and again. And for many men curing performance anxiety is the ONLY problem they have.

when performance anxiety disappears – problems with premature ejaculation disappear
In other words – when performance anxiety disappears, problems with premature ejaculation disappear.

In our TantraCURE online program we have a WHOLE CHAPTER dedicated to help you overcome performance anxiety.

The technique you peform in the TantraCURE training is simple to perform, but behind it lies a complex knowledge of the body’s energy system and how to let go of negative emotions.

It is important to understand that emotions are just “waves” of negative energy. This negative energy runs (as does sexual energy) in certain meridians in the body (the subtle nervous system). If this negative energy is not released it is stored in the body as muscular tensions and stiffness in the joints.

The good part is that you can learn a technique to release the negative energy in the body when it arises. In this way you remove performance anxiety in the present moment, and liberate yourself from it in the moment it arises.

At the same time you avoid it implanting itself as tension in your body – a tension that gives headaches and blocks the energy flow in the body.

Instead of being transformed into a “nervous and needy” man by your emotions, you can rest in your MASCULINE ESSENCE. In this way you give women exactly what they need to feel in order to trigger an ENORMOUS ATTRACTION towards you.

And this is just one of the advantages of learning to release negative energy.

If you would like to start straight away to overcome performance anxiety and to become mere self-confident, centered, calm and relaxed you can download the TantraCURE training here:

From the first day you will receive techniques to overcome performance anxiety.

Click here to download the TantraCURE system and get started straight away:

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==> TantraCURE Stamina Intensive – overcome performance anxiety in bed! <==

If You Come Too Quickly – This Is How You Turn It To Your Advantage …!

If You Come Too Quickly – This Is How You Turn It To Your Advantage …!

In this article I will tell you how it totally against all odds could actually be a unique advantage for you if you at this moment always suffer from premature ejaculation.

All men are different with regards to how much training is needed to get over premature ejaculation.

Let us start by establishing a little known fact – the difference between men who come too quickly and men that can last as long as they like is not as great as you perhaps believe it to be.

Some men need a lot of training, while others need a little training and some men are natural born talents.

But it is essential that you know that if you have problems with premature ejaculation – that this actually can wind up being an ADVANTAGE for you.

Think about it. Men who don’t have problems lasting long without training become lazy – because they get by with what they know. The ladies are not extatic with their performance but are more or less satisfied with the 15 minutes that a slightly above average man can last.

When men that have a problem begin to train seriously, they will slowly but surely pass the natural born talents.
When men that have a problem (like you perhaps do and I once myself had) begin to train seriously, they will SLOWLY BUT SURELY PASS THE NATURAL BORN TALENTS.

I was an absolute zero in bed that could not last longer than 10 seconds, and today I am seen as an expert in my field that already has helped over 3000 men to last longer in bed.

There Is A Lot Of Hope For Men Who Suffer From Premature Ejaculation

In other words – if you begin training, you will not only get results and add minutes to your stamina. You will also learn things about sexual energy and how to truly satisfy women that most men will never know.

When you start learning to channel your sexual energy you will start to be able to satisfy women on a much deeper level than they are used to being satisfied. You will get more intimate, passionate and emotionally satisfying sex.

You will experience gourmet sex instead of boring fast food sex.

You can start your training by starting out on a SIMPLE TRAINING PROGRAM that will help you to add minutes if not tens of minutes to your sexual stamina.

==> Click here to check out the TantraCURE training! <==
Are You Hypersensitive?

Are You Hypersensitive?

Do you ejaculate the moment you penetrate her? Or even before you take of your pants? Then you probably have serotonin defficiency.

Its a bit comical. But not if you find yourself in the situation.
And it happens to many men – even after the insecure high school and acne years.

The condition is called “hypersensitivity” (duh), and studies show that it is very much related to the lack of the hormone serotonin.

If you have low serotonin levels you might have an extremely low IELT. IELT is an acronym for “INTRAVAGINAL EJACULATION LATENCY TIME” meaning the time between penetration (or stimulation) til ejaculation.

But we must remember that stimulation/arousal starts in the mind – and many men ejaculate in their pants, without any type of physical stimulation. In this case the acronym IELT makes no sense because no penetration has actually taken place.

A more precise acronym would be “AELT” or “AROUSAL EJACULATION LATENCY TIME” – meaning the amount of time between the initial arousal to the ejaculation – but this is more difficult to measure so scientists go with IELT.

Many teenage men suffer from hypersensitivity.

But unfortunately for some men, the problem continues their whole life.
Many doctors (primarily in the US) have tried to treat this type of premature ejaculation with anti-depressant medicine. This type of medicine boosts serotonin levels in different ways but unfortunately often also blocks the erection process, with the result that you suddenly find yourself with another even worse problem – erectile dysfunction.

So anti-depressants are actually not a very effective, natural or satisfying solution.

Premature Ejaculation And The Right Treatment

As in all types of premature ejaculation it is the right kind of training that is required. The problem with hypersensitivity is that if your AELT is so low that you ejaculate after the slightest stimulation – it might be difficult for you even to do classic premature ejaculation exercises (such as start stop techniques) without ejaculating.

As a hypersensitive man you have to balance your serotonin levels first which will give you a slight rise of AELT/IELT. This means that you now can perform breathing techniques and train your pelvic muscles while you are sexually excited – which is a huge leap forward. From there you can start increasing your sexual stamina minute by minute.

One of my clients was so sensitive that he ejaculated as soon as he got a sexual thought or got the slightest bit aroused. By increasing his serotonin levels he could get over his hypersensitivity allowing him to start the basic necessary premature ejaculation arousal training.

In the TantraCURE program I run through all the different hormonal imbalances that make men come too quickly. There are many things you can do that will balance your hormones and strengthen your sexual health through the right diet and lifestyle changes.

For instance, you can:
  • Eat food that boosts or limits certain hormones that play a role in the ejaculation process
  • Regulate your hormones by doing different kinds of exercise and find out whether soft or hard physical exercise is best for you
  • Follow through on life style changes and begin new activities that harmonize your hormones

So click here and check out the TantraCURE program that will help you to harmonize your hormone levels so that you finally can raise your AELT and last as long as you want.

==> Check out the TantraCURE 8 week online training program <==